What Is Adultery? A Biblical and Practical Guide

Adultery is one of those words that’s just so loaded. You hear it preached, you read it in the Bible, you see it playing out in life. But what is adultery, really? More to the point, what does Jesus say about it? Is it purely a matter of physical faithlessness, or something more?

If you’ve ever wondered what adultery truly is and why God takes it so seriously, this article is for you. We’ll look into Scripture, see what the Bible says about adultery, why it matters, and how we can navigate this topic with wisdom and grace.

How Does the Bible Define Adultery?

Simply put, adultery is unfaithfulness in marriage. The Bible defines it as a married person having a sexual relationship with someone who is not their spouse. What’s more, it clearly condemns this act as a sin.

“You shall not commit adultery.” 

Exodus 20:14 (ESV)

This command isn’t just a rule to follow. It reflects God’s heart for marriage. Adultery breaks the sacred bond between husband and wife. It violates the trust and unity that God intended.

In the Old Testament, adultery was considered a severe sin, punishable by death (Leviticus 20:10). Even though that may seem extreme by today’s standards, it shows how seriously God views faithfulness in marriage.

But Jesus? He takes it a step further. He taught that adultery is not just physical. It starts in the heart.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” 

Matthew 5:27-28 (ESV)

That’s a game-changer. Jesus is saying that adultery isn’t just about what we do with our bodies. It’s also about what we allow in our hearts and minds. Lust, fantasies, and impure thoughts? They’re just as serious to God as the act itself.

The Modern Struggle: Adultery in the Digital Age

You don’t have to look far to see how adultery plays out in today’s world.

• Emotional Affairs: Sometimes, it’s not physical but emotional. Deep conversations, secret texting, and emotional intimacy with someone other than your spouse can be just as damaging. Emotional adultery happens when you give your heart to someone other than your spouse. It often leads to secrecy and emotional detachment in marriage.
• Pornography: Jesus said it clearly enough that to lust for someone in your heart is adultery. Pornography has grown, making it even more challenging.
• Casual Culture: Society treats sex carelessly, while God holds sex as something holy. Adultery isn’t just breaking the rule. It’s breaking a connection that was meant to endure a lifetime.
• Spiritual Adultery; Throughout Scripture, God compares our relationship with Him to a marriage. When His people turn away from Him to worship idols or pursue worldly desires, He calls it adultery. “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?” (James 4:4, ESV) This suggests that adultery is not simply an issue among human beings. It also reveals our loyalty (or lack of it) to God.

The good news? Jesus came to heal, restore, and set us free.

Why Does God Take Adultery So Seriously?

Adultery isn’t just a mistake or a moment of weakness. It has real consequences. And here’s why the Bible warns so strongly against it.

Marriage Reflects God’s Covenant Love

Marriage is not a solely human institution. It’s an image of God’s relationship with humanity. Paul writes to the Ephesians and states,

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)

Adultery distorts that picture. It takes holy—faithful, sacrificial love—something sacred—and turns it into selfish, hurting behavior.

Adultery Destroys Trust and Families

If you’ve ever seen the aftermath of an affair, you know how devastating it can be. Broken trust, shattered families, wounded children. It just leaves a trail of pain. That’s why God warns against it. He wants to protect us from that kind of heartbreak.

It Corrupts the Heart

When we allow lust and unfaithfulness into our lives, it doesn’t just harm our marriages. It harms our relationship with God. Jesus said:

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” 

Matthew 5:8 (ESV)

Sin blinds us. It pulls us away from God’s presence. Adultery isn’t just a betrayal of a spouse. It’s a spiritual issue that affects our walk with Jesus.

It Has Eternal Consequences

Apostle Paul warns us that those who practice adultery without repentance will not inherit the kingdom of God.

“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality…”

1 Corinthians 6:9 (ESV)

This is serious business.

Does God Forgive Adultery?

Maybe you’re reading this and feeling a weight on your heart. Maybe you’ve struggled with adultery—physically or in your thoughts. Maybe you’re carrying guilt and wondering if God could ever forgive you.

Here’s the truth. Yes, there is forgiveness.

One of the most powerful moments in the Bible is when Jesus meets a woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11). The religious leaders were ready to stone her, but Jesus did something incredible.

“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 

John 8:7 (ESV)

One by one, they walked away. Then Jesus turned to the woman and said,

“Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on, sin no more.” 

John 8:11 (ESV)

Jesus doesn’t condone sin. But He also doesn’t condemn those who come to Him in repentance. He offers grace, freedom, and a new beginning. Remember, He died for our sins. 

Another example is King David, who committed adultery with Bathsheba. After he repented, he also found God’s mercy.

“David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” And Nathan said to David, “The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die.”

2 Samuel 12:13 (ESV)

If you’ve fallen into adultery, physically or emotionally, know that God’s grace is bigger than your mistakes. 

How Can You Guard Against Adultery?

The key to preventing adultery is to be intentional in protecting your heart and your marriage. 

Stay Close to Jesus: A strong relationship with Jesus helps us resist temptation. The more we seek Him, the more our hearts align with His.

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” 

James 4:8 (ESV)

As such, you have to pray regularly and read Scripture. Hear the words of Paul.

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” 

Galatians 5:16 (ESV)

“Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Matthew 26:41 (ESV)

Prioritize Your Marriage: You must put your wife/husband first. You have to date, be honest with each other, and build your relationship. When you have a healthy marriage, you are less likely to commit sin.

Set Boundaries: Be cautious. Avoid situations that could lead to temptation. Be mindful of emotional connections, late-night texts, and anything that could weaken your commitment.

Renew Your Mind: Lust begins in the mind. Fill your thoughts with Scripture and truth rather than allowing impurity to take root.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” 

Romans 12:2 (ESV)

You must guard your heart against lustful thoughts. 

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” 

Philippians 4:8 (ESV)

What If You’ve Been Hurt by Adultery?

If you’ve been betrayed, the pain is real, and healing takes time. But with God’s help, restoration is possible.

Lean on Jesus: He is close to the brokenhearted and offers comfort like no one else.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” 

Psalm 34:18 (ESV)

Seek Wise Counsel: Talk to a trusted pastor, Christian counselor, or mentor who can guide you through the healing process.

Choose Forgiveness: Forgiving doesn’t mean excusing sin, but it frees you from bitterness.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” 

Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)

Trust God with the Future: Whether your marriage is restored or not, God has a plan for your life. He can bring beauty from ashes. Remember,

“And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” 

Romans 8:28 (ESV)

Final Thoughts

Adultery isn’t just an old-fashioned sin. It’s a very real battle that affects lives. But Jesus offers a better way. He calls us to faithfulness, purity, and love.

If you’ve fallen short, don’t stay in shame. Run to Jesus. He is ready to forgive, heal, and restore. And if you already walk in purity, press on. Guard your heart, honor your marriage, and seek Jesus daily.

Faithfulness isn’t just to avoid sin. It’s also to pursue Christ. And in Him, there is fullness of joy.

Written by Juliet (Chisom) I